Blog EntryThe Sad Unfortunate Life of Mrs. SolanoDec 30, '07 12:11 PM
for everyone
It was the time for special treats and eats, the highest point of the year for all Pinoys in Pinas – Pasko at Bagong Taon. About ten years ago to the season, I had decided to buy a native chicken to cook as special tinola for the family. Since native chickens cannot be bought dressed and frozen from the supermarket, I bought a live one from the wet market of Fairview in Quezon City. (Yes, it seems like eons ago that we lived in smoggy Filinvest I.)

As we were busy preparing various other viands for the festivities, the chicken managed to free itself and flew off! Until that time, I didn’t know that native chickens, unlike other imported breeds, could fly high almost like other birds. Oh, well. I just charged the loss of some of my marketing money to experience.

Days later, after espying the prodigal chicken on the branches of the chico tree by the garage from time to time, the kids excitedly reported discovering eggs in one of the empty flower pots in the back garden. Our chicken had nested and laid eggs in an earthenware bed! She is a mother, chirped the kids! We all decided to stop scheming at trying to snare her for the stew pot and keep her as a pet instead. Of course, as a pet, she had to be named.

The kids remembered a favorite chicken story by comics writer/illustrator Gerry Alanguilan. The story had a one-eyed, sideways-strutting rooster named Mr. Solano as protagonist. Aha, perfect! Thus did our pet mother hen acquire a name – Mrs. Solano – and the unsuspecting literary rooster acquire a wife and brood.

Mrs. Solano’s eggs hatched and soon, mother and children had the run of the back garden. Although our kids had wanted to also give names to the chicks of Mrs. Solano, I resisted. For at the back of my mind I was still hoping to recoup my initial investment in the first chicken by eventually having its offspring in my tinola! You can’t go around naming your would-be food, can you? You wouldn’t want to eat an acquaintance, would you?

My daughter Pika had no such qualms, it turned out. She knew the original intent for Mrs. Solano and being (I suspect) an OC like me, I think she never quite got over the fact that this chicken was still scot-free. I also think she was influenced by the cook and the driver who both kept tabs on how plump the chicks were getting to be.

One day, after we had done our grocery shopping at Ever Gotesco Supermarket, Pika, Boboy and I decided to have merienda at the nearby Shakey’s. It was a Sunday and the restaurant was almost full of diners.

Out of the blue, uttered in her clear little girl’s voice, Pika asked, “Eh, Tatay, kailan ba natin papatayin si Mrs. Solano?”

To which, Boboy nonchalantly retorted, “Huwag na si Mrs. Solano. Matanda na yun. Yung mga anak na lang niya ang patayin natin.”

SILENCE. I could feel the air thicken with the smothered gasps of the people in nearby tables. Everybody just stopped talking! I knew they were trying hard not to look directly at us. Even the waiters were reluctant to approach us. Until we left that restaurant, I knew the people there were dying to know (pun unintended) what nefarious act this seemingly normal, harmless-looking family was going to commit.

Postscript:

One by one, Mrs. Solano and her children started to disappear – but not into our cooking pot. We suspected the construction workers down the street.

Our driver Mang Bobby, not wanting to lose out to the chicken thief, caught the last two chickens and our cook Marlen finally made tinolang native na manok! Alas, despite our not having named them, we still couldn’t eat them.


30 CommentsChronological   Reverse   Threaded
nenriquezschanowski wrote on Dec 30, '07
GWIZ...kwento kawali and manok..nakakatuwa na nakakalungkot..my brother didn't eat and hid himself to the baptism of our youngest brother, Opi, cause my mom made fried chicken out of his fave rooster..I can imagine how it feels...mag-invite na lang kayo ng kakain..:)
jnuguid wrote on Dec 30, '07
Bwahahaha. Thanks for this lovely christmas story.
cyfunk wrote on Dec 30, '07
Mrs. Solano's sad, unfortunate life? I am re-defining what a life well-lived is all about. For even after death, Mrs. Solano continues to entertain and bring lightheartedness to our lives....Thank God for the Mrs. Solanos in this world!
Thanks Guia. This story ought to be part of a collection of family anecdotes, meant to inspire other families who may have forgotten to have fun and learning as a unit and therefore miss out on life's wonders.:-)
gwiz wrote on Dec 30, '07
Nons, I also have a chicken anecdote like yours. Here goes:

Boboy's cousin bought a chick to raise and fatten for the table. But her four-year-old son became very fond of it. On the day that she was going to kill it, the little boy let it loose shouting: "Takbo ka abilissss, daliii, daliii!" But his mother finally caught the chicken and proceeded to prepare a fried chicken dinner.

At the dinner table, while eating a drumstick, the little boy sadly said, "Tabi ko ta yo takbo ka a bilis e" Hikbi.

cyfunk wrote on Dec 30, '07, edited on Dec 30, '07
I also have a similar chicken anecdote: My papa was often in the base then and my mom was in the US. So left to ourselves, I did not know how to augment our dwindling food budget so I couldn't get a dressed chicken but found that the native live chicken sold in the wet market was cheaper. I got two, a male and a female.
When I was younger I saw my papa slaughter a live chicken for a meal so I knew how to do it. So I saw myself up to the job.
To entertain ourselves, my siblings and I called them Diego and Gabriella Silang. I think that didn't help 'cause naming them made slaughtering them more difficult. But we needed dinner so that was enough incentive for the gruesome activity.
Like Mrs. Solano, Gabriella Silang got me running after her! Duon namin napagtanto - talagang bagay ang ngalang Gabriella Silang sa kanya: independent woman, este, hen siya! LOL
ladyairbus wrote on Dec 30, '07
this really cracked me up, Gwiz!
meannlim wrote on Dec 30, '07
waaaaaa!!! the story is out...and it is really entertaining!! i heard the story from either che or sally...and it was really funny...but now that the details are complete, i can't stop giggling here....it is such a good morning story for me, on the last day of the year!! Cheers, Mama Gwiz! Cheers Mrs. Solano! Here is to more entertaining story in 2008! Happy New Year everyone!

ah Pika, ganyan ka pa rin ba magtanong sa nanay at tatay hanggang ngayon?? heehee!!
bananaking69 wrote on Dec 30, '07
Mrs. Solano had a good life, and lucky for her, never been undressed.
meannlim wrote on Dec 30, '07
never been undressed
bwahahahaha!! nice one BNK!
gnglucy wrote on Dec 30, '07
Guia ! Just when i'm left with a vague sense of ennui here at work (yes folks i'm working today, 31 Dec ....waaaaaah) the amusing story of Mrs Solano undoubtedly cheered me up. Naku eh chicken pa naman ang pa-lunch sa amin ngayon sigurado ang bungisngis ko nito !
gnglucy wrote on Dec 30, '07
cause my mom made fried chicken out of his fave rooster..
i know this story so well Nona ..

daming stories ng Ate mo with the chickens and ducks naman in their backyard. bigla kasing nagsulputan sa isip ko when other chicken stories came out. i remember ivee crying and saving one of the chooks for herself. ayun, nag-iisa and would you believe na nangingitlog pa rin !
gnglucy wrote on Dec 30, '07
never been undressed
ikaw lang talaga BNK ang makakaisip nito HLH
louellaalix wrote on Dec 30, '07
So this is what Meann's been telling me. ha ha ha I had a good laugh this morning! This reminds me of our farm days - we had a poultry and Daddy strictly counted every head, so when the boys wanted to eat chicken, they resorted to other means. The original " free range chicken " in the Philippines.

Most people in the province do not fence or cage their chickens, they're just allowed to roam the countryside and are called back to the roost by scattering corn on the ground and calling out "crrrk crrrk". The chickens do go home.

Our Dad tells the boys NEVER to touch other people's chickens even when they are in our yard. The boys innocently asked him what kind of chicken could they get then. Daddy intones in a very serious voice "only wild chickens", knowing very well there are no wild chickens anymore in this day and age.

So everytime Dad goes to the city, my brothers chase any chicken stupid enough to be near our house and shouting "WILD CHICKEN" all the while! The poor chickens were no match to my brothers' determination and stamina to run after them!
artistmonk wrote on Dec 30, '07
This surely made my morning! Thank you for sharing! :)
alanguilan wrote on Dec 30, '07
I knew it! I knew as soon as I saw the name Solano this had something to do with a chicken! That's a very nice story. Pwedeng gawing comics!
louiseakawys wrote on Dec 30, '07
that's why i love your posts tita g, you have a lot of kwento! :) happy new year tomorrow to you and your family!
oselle wrote on Dec 30, '07
HLH...natuwa ako kay Pika at Sir B =)
pearlulanday wrote on Dec 31, '07
gwiz said
"Tabi ko ta yo takbo ka a bilis e" Hikbi.
bwahahaha, ang funny mo talaga, Guai!
pearlulanday wrote on Dec 31, '07
Panalo talaga ang story ni Mrs. Solano! Heard it the first time sa 2nd EB at your crib, but hearing it again, weeheehee, same intensity ang tawa ko! Thanks for the good laughter Guia!
nenriquezschanowski wrote on Dec 31, '07
gwiz said
"Takbo ka abilissss, daliii, daliii!" But his mother finally caught the chicken and proceeded to prepare a fried chicken dinner.

At the dinner table, while eating a drumstick, the little boy sadly said, "Tabi ko ta yo takbo ka a bilis e" Hikbi.
waaaaahhhhhh..this is more a hit..pwedeng pang series sa comedy comics...
tuberosebaby wrote on Dec 31, '07
I really enjoyed your story, Guia. Happy New Year na sa inyo .
chitoirigo wrote on Dec 31, '07
Hi Gwiz. As I said, medyo mahirap talagang taluhin ang may pangalan, hikbi, hikbi din... Happy New Year to the you, Hugzone and the family.
gwiz wrote on Jan 1
cyfunk said
To entertain ourselves, my siblings and I called them Diego and Gabriella Silang. I think that didn't help 'cause naming them made slaughtering them more difficult. But we needed dinner so that was enough incentive for the gruesome activity.Like Mrs. Solano, Gabriella Silang got me running after her! Duon namin napagtanto - talagang bagay ang ngalang Gabriella Silang sa kanya: independent woman, este, hen siya! LOL
Ang galing – a chicken couple named Diego and Gabriela Silang! I could just imagine a young Choie huffing and puffing running after Gabriela, then sadly slaughtering her to feed her hungry siblings. I am sure you even said a silent prayer for her. =)

Lesson learned: never name your would-be food! LOL!
gwiz wrote on Jan 1
ah Pika, ganyan ka pa rin ba magtanong sa nanay at tatay hanggang ngayon?? heehee!
Pika hasn't changed as far as her frank, straight-shooting talk is concerned, hehe.
gwiz wrote on Jan 1
my brothers chase any chicken stupid enough to be near our house and shouting "WILD CHICKEN" all the while!
Hehehe, trust the boys to go around the rules to get what they want! I could just imagine how much fun they had. =)
gwiz wrote on Jan 1
I knew it! I knew as soon as I saw the name Solano this had something to do with a chicken!
Thanks to your Mr. Solano chicken story, our Mrs. Solano chicken story became a fond family anecdote. So, now you see, Gerry, that our kids have been fans of yours way before Boboy and I went into the comics business. =)
Comment deleted at the request of the author.
cyfunk wrote on Jan 1
gwiz said
Lesson learned: never name your would-be food! LOL!
mismo!!! LOL
faitherasmo wrote on Jan 5
gwiz said
At the dinner table, while eating a drumstick, the little boy sadly said, "Tabi ko ta yo takbo ka a bilis e" Hikbi.
Yan tuloy ang napala. Ayaw kasi makinig e. HLH!
rachelebalan wrote on Feb 4
Hi tita guia! I haven't really been using my multiply site and it was only this morning that i got to check out bik's site and contacts... Your Mrs. Solano story was really funny!..haha.. and mang bobby and ate marlen.... i remember mrs. solano but i don't remember ate marlen cooking them. anyway, hope you and tito boboy are doing great =)
Add a Comment
   
© 2008 Multiply, Inc.    About · Blog · Terms · Privacy · Corp Info · Contact Us · Help

Template design - Copyright © 2005 sonnenvogel.com All rights reserved.